we keep on falling down, you see we're falling down, so fucking pick me up

today my parents dragged me to get a family picture taken, which i tried very hard not to complain about because my parents are getting old and need these things so they don't go crazy or die of a broken heart because i don't know how to smile around them. my father made me wear a turtle neck, which bummed me out additionally.
the lady taking our picture kept telling me not to be so stoic, it would be over soon, but mostly just kept commenting on what a serious person i am, which threw me off because i was faking happiness as best i could (which i am usually very good at). i don't know what got her going, but she started babbling about how she graduated from the same school i'm going to, late in life, and with 4 kids...and how she almost didn't graduate because her mother died during finals week of her last semester and her own 19 year old daughter had 3 kids and all of this crazy shit. she told me not to give up. my mother smiled and kept saying "aw, good for you".
the picture turned out pretty sucky, as we are not a photogenic family: we have round heads which make dramatic cheek bone angles hard to pull off, especially when you're wearing a fucking turtle neck.
my father bought me some clothes, which i didn't want him to because i knew i wouldn't seem grateful enough, which i didn't. we went home, i am still grumpy, and i have been trying to study for finals for the past 7 hours but instead have been staring at the wall. i don't know why i get like this during the holidays, but i constantly feel like i could explode. not into rage, mind you, just. i don't know. boom.
how did she know i gave up?